Michael Lohan is pitching a fit in the media because he’s not seeing his kids. He blames his ex-wife Dina for blocking access to Cody, Ali and Lindsay.

He’s mostly concerned about Lindsay because, according to his interview on Showbiz Tonight (video after the jump), she needs a father figure to put his foot down or else she’ll end up drinking all the world’s booze. SWEET NADS OF THOR! We gotta get these two together pronto!

A girl needs her daddy and all that shit. Listen up, I’ve got some duct tape. I’m pretty sure it’s flame-retardant. *checks* Yep, we’re golden. Okay, someone needs to make a trail of blow leading into my trunk…     Photos: Flynet